I thought I’d take some time to jot down a few thoughts about New York City after living here for 2 years. Maybe you’re thinking about moving here or perhaps you’re just curious about what living in the most famous (or infamous) city in the world is like.
Prior to moving here in 2024 I had visited my now wife Christine a handful of times. She was born and raised in Brooklyn. My first impressions during these visits was quite overwhelming. The sheer scale of the buildings was terrifying. These things tower over you ominously. It has the same effect Yosemite has. You’re reminded how small you are. Who really knows how much energy, and people, and money, and business flows through these towers every single day without rest. What big decisions or plans are being put into action high up in these towers while I mill about down on the street like some lowly peasant?
So that was really my first impression. It was a “wow, this place is absolutely massive.”
Once you manage to take your eyes off the buildings and architecture your attention and nervous system focuses towards the constant flow of bodies through the streets. In those early visits to the city we spent a lot of time in Manhattan, and I should mention that New York City is not just Manhattan, but this is the borough that comes to mind when people think of the city. People who visit spend most of their time here because it’s where all the action and big energy is. It’s a lot to absorb and was quite honestly too overwhelming during my initial visits. I’m not from the city. Everything felt foreign. I felt out of place.
I told myself I could never live here. But something strange would happen upon returning to the quiet solitude of the hotel room. After a time of reset and relaxation I would find myself thinking about returning to the city, to see more, to take it all in. I found the chaos addicting and there’s something drug-like about the city experience that pulls you back into its clutches. There’s something terrifying here you can’t look away from. You see so much happening and you want to be a part of whatever that thing is. Nobody knows what’s happening but you can feel it. It’s a riptide pulling you out to deep deep waters. You want to know what’s out there even if it costs your life. As the subway train rips through the dark underground tunnels you’re introduced to a world you never knew existed. There’s an undercurrent of slight danger here.
Upon returning to my quiet California beach town I would ponder about my experiences in the city. During the banal hours of my job I would daydream about the chaos and madness. This was a time where I had given up most drugs and alcohol. My brain was desperate for any kind of stimulation.
We toyed with the idea of moving to the city to be close to Christines parents.
Finally, we pulled the trigger. Before I knew it I found myself living with my wifes parents without any kind of work and no prospects. I interviewed for a few different jobs. These interviews took me all over the city including Wall Street.
The city remained overwhelming and every time I found myself in the thick of the city, I questioned my choices.
What am I doing here? I hate cities. I hate all the people. I hate the chaos. Yet, there was a dirty part of me that wouldn’t have it any other way. Deep inside, the filthy animal loved the dumpster. And for everything the city is, you cannot call it a clean city by any means. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much trash in my life. It’s literally piled up on the streets in massive black bags. They don’t have bins here so everyone throws their trash out on the sidewalk. Trash is just a fixture of this city like it or not. If someone told you to conjure up an image of New York City you might think of the Statue of Liberty or maybe the empire state building. To me, trash bags, steam, trains, and dirty city busses are what comes to mind.
Commuting
For the average New Yorker a big chunk of the day is spent commuting to and from work. Despite having the greatest public transport system in the country many of us still find ourselves spending up to 4 hours a day commuting to and from work. My personal total daily commute time is about 3 hours a day. That’s a lot of time just doing nothing.
I start the day on a city bus which takes me to the train. It takes about 10 minutes to walk to the bus stop. The train then takes me to work. Once off of the train I walk about 15 minutes before I’m actually clocked in at my workstation. I’ve never walked so much in my life although walking is quite honestly my favorite part of the day. I don’t mind it at all. Even during the brutal winter or summer months it’s still something I take joy in. It’s really the only time I have to myself. The bus is less ideal because I usually have to stand the whole time. The train is similar in that you’re not always guaranteed a place to sit, and sometimes I just don’t feel like sitting in such close proximity to someone even though there might be space. For the most part I default to leaning back against the subway doors. At this point I’ve memorized where the doors open at which stops so I can move around and not be in the way. It’s my favorite place to stand.
Overall I like the trains. I have not found them to be as dangerous as many people claim, although I was shocked at first to find absolutely no guard rails between the platform and the tracks. It’s all open. Obviously the first thing you’re going to think about is some maniac pushing you onto the tracks. It rarely happens. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced what I would consider a dangerous situation on the trains. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of insane nut jobs on the trains but I’ve found most of them to be harmless. Yes, sometimes you can tell one of them took a shit on the train. But overall I’ve only had good experiences on the train, although I do find very packed trains to be extremely socially awkward. Sometimes you’re eye to eye with someone and anywhere you turn your head is just someone else staring at you.
To be quite honest I feel very safe in the city. And as counter intuitive as it sounds you do tend to feel safer in the crowds. Sometimes I find myself early so I let the train pass to catch the next one. I’ve never seen anyone else do this. When the train comes, everyone on the platform floods in. always.
But if you wait for the next train something magical happens. You find that for a brief moment in time you’re the only one in there. Not a soul in sight. It’s an eerie feeling. To be surrounded by so many people and then suddenly completely alone. I always do this if I have time. For me it’s a unique experience that lasts just a moment but almost always worth it. I like to see the people disappear. It’s like I have the whole place to myself. Soon enough they begin flooding down the stairs.
Diversity
You hear people say their favorite part about New York City is the diversity, but what that translates to is “I enjoy stuffing my face with foods from all over the world.”
As far as the people go I don’t think there’s a more diverse place in the entire world than New York City. It reminds me of the scene in Star Wars where Luke walks into the cantina and encounters Creatures from every corner of the galaxy. That’s NYC. No single race has any dominance here. They try to drill this idea of diversity being a strength but having observed the city I don’t find that to be true. While New Yorkers do seem to coexist I don’t see radically different cultures coming together towards any common goal. I remember being on 86th street in Brooklyn and seeing a large group of middle eastern men embracing each other as they were talking. As in, physically holding onto each others arms while in conversation. My first reaction was fascination. It was honestly cool to see something like that having never seen it before. Thinking about it more it was obvious that such customs function as barriers to anyone outside of that culture. Imagine how strange it would be for me to embrace them in the same way. They would think me insane. You hear people say their favorite part about New York City is the diversity, but what that translates to is “I enjoy stuffing my face with foods from all over the world.”
Culture by nature is exclusionary to those outside it. This is the default behavior.
Beyond the exchange of goods, cultures do not mix together, or form friendships or camaraderie. And how could they when many of them don’t have a shared language? They stick to their own and that’s fine, but there seems to be a push to make us believe that multiculturalism is somehow a net positive for society, when it clearly creates tension among those living in its reality. At best it can be seen as a neutral aspect of society but in no way a benefit.
The city feels like you hacked together a bunch of parts from wildly different contraptions and by stroke of luck it happens to run like some Willy Wonka machine.
Some immigrants are trying to learn english and adopt American culture as much as they can. I work with many who are like this. We get along just fine but it’s plain to see everyone gets a long better with people who are like themselves. In terms of efficiency it’s faster if I am working with people born and raised here. Just like it’s faster for them to speak their own language, and when given the choice they do.
Others have no interest in learning english or interfacing with any culture outside of their own. America for them is simply another place to continue the same values and habits that made their own country a place worth leaving. This is very common with the Chinese especially if they’re older. I suppose if you have a big enough community there’s no reason to.
I do think the insane amount of diversity does make for an odd, incohesive, and tense experience for everyone involved. It can be downright strange at times but also downright hilarious. There are things you see here that go well beyond the absurd. The city feels like you hacked together a bunch of parts from wildly different contraptions and by stroke of luck it happens to run like some Willy Wonka machine. It does feel at times like the city is an experimental petri dish for the super elites. They sit there looking down on us wondering how much pressure they can apply before we completely crack. It’s the testing ground for what eventually gets rolled out to the rest of the country.
Weather
The weather here is dogshit compared to the west coast. I suppose I should have expected that. Summers are the worst. In the spring time you might get a couple weeks worth of really nice weather. Same deal with the fall. Throughout the entire year there’s probably just 30 days of what I’d consider actually nice weather with low humidity and temps in the mid 70s to low 80s. The other days are brutally cold and dry, wet and damp, or humid and sweltering. The main strategy most of the year is just to get from one building with AC/heat to the next one – one reason why New Yorkers probably walk so fast. My favorite season is fall. I really want to like spring but there’s just too many wet humid days. Even if the temperatures are right, if the humidity is high it’s still fairly miserable especially waiting under ground for your train to come. The nice thing is most busses and trains have very good heating and AC systems (most of the time.)
Fun times!!
The city can be very fun on the right day. Some days everything is working in your favor. Maybe you grab some snacks and just hang out at Washington Square Park. Maybe you take a stroll through the village, or take a train to the upper east side for no reason at all. You get off at Columbus circle and spend some time in central park. Maybe you go to Coney Island and grab a Nathans hot dog. There’s so much to do that costs next to nothing. So many experiences to be had. Most of the time when we go out there is no set destination, just an enjoyment of the journey. I could honestly just sit with a coffee and watch people all day.
Conclusion
My overall opinion of the city is mostly positive. I can’t deny this is a special place, albeit with a lot of frustrations. Should anyone move here though? My assessment is this is a young persons city. The city will reward you if you have energy to work and grow. And energy you will most definitely need. Working full time and commuting is absolutely draining which is why I say it helps to be young. I suppose on the flip side you could move here if you were older and had money, or had skills to realistically make a lot of money in the city. This is a working city. If you move here you should probably have a reason to do so. It helps to know people here. If you’re alone with no skills I don’t see that as something that will work out. There’s a lot of young people here subsidized by their parents of course. If you don’t have the financial backing or skills to make money it’s going to be tough. Obviously the cost of living is high, but not much higher than where I moved from. From what I’ve seen a lot of people make their money and leave as soon as they can. It’s a city where you can really upgrade your skills. It’s where the most highly skilled people are. It will drain you completely but also give a lot in return if you do things right.
The city I realized is similar to a drug. In fact, when I moved here I suddenly stopped taking some of my favorite stimulants. I no longer needed them. If I did take stimulants I would be pushed to the point of panic attacks. Even coffee proved to be too much for my nervous system to handle. The city is quite honestly bad for my health. Despite all the walking and work I do, I am not sure I can sustain this level of output unless I learn to regulate my nervous system better.
Leaving the city is inevitable but for now it’s where I’m at.